Healed People, Heal People

Do I Have The Stronghold Of Unforgiveness?
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Beloved, biblical, Chester Kylstra

If you are going to do business with God, the currency is forgiveness.

Hello Beloved reader. I decided to write this unforgiveness article for you because it helped me. A few months back I attended an open-to-the-public ministry session where these questions were asked. I think many of us Christians were surprised at how many times we answered yes. Remember now – be honest with yourself. No one will see your paper but you.

Unforgiveness is one of the most powerful enemies in the body of Christ today. Do you know how many illnesses or infirmities are directly related to unforgiveness? One thing all people who are called to work in healing and deliverance should know when dealing with illnesses is to learn if the person standing or sitting before them has an issue with unforgiveness.

It is critical to learn if there is a single person that they’ve not forgiven. It is necessary to ask the person when exactly in their life were they diagnosed with the illness. Proceed to ask the person what life events were going on at or near that time. Often, the following are typical responses a person might give.

I've experienced betrayal. I lost my job and the boss could have let another person go because I was there longer. These are two of many reasons any person could share as to why they’ve not forgiven someone.

Now listen, beloved reader, do you know that sometimes people have instantly been healed of their infirmity on the spot once this unforgiveness has been taken care of spiritually. Keep in mind this is one of four things that must be addressed in an integrated healing & deliverance ministry session.

Will you get out a piece of paper and a pen, pretty please? Now, read the statements below. Each time the statement is true for you, make a check mark on your paper. Once you’re done reading each statement on the unforgiveness stronghold, you’ll talley up your score.

Answer these unforgiveness questions honestly


1) I find myself holding grudges.

2) I retreat into isolation from others.

3) I erupt in anger or I boil inside.

4) I think of ways to get even with others who hurt me.

5) I just bury the wrongs done to me without really addressing them.

6) I pity myself.

7) I carry bitterness and anger towards those who have hindered me or willfully, purposely wronged me.

8) Instead of stating the truth, I make excuses for those who wronged or hurt me.

9) I often feel sorry for myself.

10) Occasionally I think I truly am some kind of martyr.

11) Nobody has had it as bad as me.

12) I want to get even with people who’ve cause me pain.

13) I insulate or protect myself behind the walls of defensiveness.

14) I don’t trust others.

15) I just can’t forgive [which really is you want forgive].

16) I’m anger with God for allowing bad things to happen to me.

17) I act like nothing happen instead of confronting issues that have hurt me.

18) I can’t get over my past.

Please talley up your check marks to see how you scored.

If you have 1 – 4 check marks, you’re in the lower percentile [25%] of operating in unforgiveness.

If you have 5 – 9 check marks, you’re in the middle percentile [50%] of operating in unforgiveness. This is average for most Christians. Now, we all know what the Bible clearly states about any unforgiveness, right? So even if you scored in the lowest percentile, it needs to be taken care of.

If you have 10 – 14 check marks, you’re in the upper percentile [75%] of operating in unforgiveness. Yep, you betcha – this sure enough has to be addressed because you’re in bondage beloved.

If you have 15 or more check marks, you very likely have the stronghold of unforgiveness. If you don’t know how to break this stronghold and remove the demons holding it in place in your life, learn or go receive ministry please. What book would I suggest that’s a must read, Biblical Healing & Deliverance: An Integrated Approach to Biblical Healing Ministry by Chester & Betsy Kylstra.

Beloved reader, you already know the key to forgiveness is releasing the debt. By forgiving, you are not justifying what the person did to you is okay. By forgiving, you are not minimizing the devastating impact what they did has had on your life.

Well, here's the age old question – why is it that it’s so darn hard to forgive some things, some people. It is because the one time hurt or the repeated hurt has wounded your soul or wounded your spirit or wounded both. Usually the hurt(s), even though they can’t be seen, have really crippled you inside. The crippling could be mentally and/or emotionally and/or physically. Some hurts have downright debilitated some of us to the point that illness occurs.

And if we're transparent here, not forgiving the person make some Christians they have a [false] sense of power over the person [especially if the person wants to be forgiven]. As long as we choose to not forgive any person for any thing, we literally carry that person with us daily. What do I mean? You have a shackle attached to a ball-and-chain at the bottom of your ankle.

The weighted ball-and-chain is directly attached to each person you've not forgiven. You literally carry their body weight around with you all day long. In the shower, to bed with you, in the car with you, to the grocery store with you. More importantly, you carry those you've not forgiven with you mentally and emotionally every day, which is yet another reason you're weighted down internally. Although we still respond to people saying, "We're fine, blessed, highly favored."

So beloved reader – we’re at a crossroads here. The Bible says to forgive and that forgiveness is non-negotiable. Well yeah, this is true. What’s been learned in integrated healing & deliverance is sometimes we first have to have the Holy Spirit take care of the hurts at every spiritual and emotional level before the forgiveness can even be approached. And in very extreme cases, the forgiveness takes times, like in layers, which is better than not at all.

Please know if you are a person who works in ministry or if you are a leader of any kind, people will violate you. You cannot afford to allow this unforgiveness to place you in bondage. Let’s look at Joseph’s life in the Bible. He had so many reasons to not forgive his brothers. What did Joseph do [Genesis 39]? He stayed before the Lord, and yes, he forgave his family. Even though Joseph was a grown man, he sobbed like a child.

What is forgivness?

Is a spiritual decision to release the person, entity, institution or group who hurt you, betrayed you

Is cancelling someone from the consequence of falling short of God’s standard in your life

Is releasing resentment toward the very person who exacted very real hurt on you

Is dismissing our demand that the person owes us something

Is releasing the right to be bitter

Is releasing the right to get even

Is of God

Is releasing the right to hear the words, “I’m sorry.”

Is an act of our spiritual will

Is a process especially for those who’ve been abused/deeply hurt

What forgiveness is not

Is not a feeling

Is not an emotion

Is not being a doormat

Is not conditional

Is not stuffing your anger

Is not based on what’s fair

Is not excusing the wrong done to you

Is not justifying the wrong done to you

Is not you executing God’s wrath

Is not repentance

Is not based on what a person deserves

Is not you waiting for time to heal all wounds

Is not reconciliation [requires a minimum of two people] [forgiveness only requires 1 person]

Is not enablement [a form of people pleasing and repeatedly having no boundaries]

Is not letting the guilty off the hook, you are placing them on God’s hook

Is not denying that the wrong happened to you

The characteristics of an unforgiver

Danger - If you persist in resisting and disobeying God by being unforgiving [or whatever the sin is], you can eventually to given over to the influence of evil, satan and immorality. Acts 7:42

does not agree with God that sin is sin

delayed or even the prevention of spiritual growth

heart is turned away from God

go through verbal acts of repentance

an unforgiver often has diseases & functionally sick

is limited in hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit

an unforgiver can have psychological problems

an unforgiver can be a person laden with stress

elevate yourself above your offender

you’re emotionally stuck to your offender

you share negative information about offender

automatically open the door to satan and his demons

a hardened heart, a condemning heart

tend to be verbally abusive

blind that you’re becoming like your offender

an unforgiver ages faster

being an unforgiver affects your body’s ability to fight disease by weakening your immune system

an unforgiver can have emotional instability – fly off the handle easily or show very little emotion

Define the spirit of unforgivness, which is a stronghold

A simple word to describe this spirit of unforgiveness – hurt, a person who is deeply hurt.

A spirit of unforgiveness goes beyond temporary unwillingness to forgive.

The spirit of unforgiveness is a spiritual acid that eats through the spirit within us.

The spirit of unforgiveness is a supernatural cancer that slowly and deliberately eats you up.

There is a long time period between the time you are hurt and the time you forgive the person who hurt you.

When does unforgiveness become a stronghold?

When you refuse to forgive and the unresolved anger develops a fortified place in your mind and heart; you become mentally captive to do the enemy’s will. Ephesians 6:16

The three parts of forgiveness

Part 1 |Horizontal line of The Cross -- Forgiving others and others forgiving you

Especially needed toward family and church members because this is where most hurts come from

Part 2 | Vertical line of The Cross -- Receiving God forgiveness and us releasing God

Part 3 | Circle or halo where The Cross intersects -- Forgiving yourself and receiving forgiveness from self

Why do Christians have the most difficulty forgiving themselves than any other person?

Lie no. 1 - Sin we committed, the offense is too big to forgive

Lie no. 2 - We knew better and committed the sin anyway

Lie no. 3 - It’s a habitual sin and we continue to do it, it doesn’t deserve grace

Lie no. 4 - We’re so shamed by the sin, we should not exchange the shame for forgiveness

Lie no. 5 – You believe you don’t deserve forgiveness because of who you are

Here, it’s effective to say your own name.

For example, “Your name goes right here, I forgive myself for ____.”

So why do you not forgive when you know to do so

What was done to you or by you was too big

The hurt was planned, intentional and/or repeated

No modeling of forgiveness from our parents

They didn’t forgive me, I will not forgive them

You deny it never happened

Don’t understand God’s forgiveness

You believe the lie that bitterness is a normal response because God knows how you feel.

The pain is so deep [even though it may be simple to others] you just don’t know where to begin.

It is here where you allow the Holy Spirit to heal the pain completely first, then you’re able to forgive.

How does unforgiveness affect your prayer life?

blessings are withheld from us

our prayer life is blocked

we are spiritually dim

God doesn’t forgive us

God resists you

What is unforgiveness?

unforgiveness is a form of pride

is of satan and his demons

grieves the Holy Spirit

showcases a godless heart

keeps us in bondage to sin

is an offense to God, which makes us an offender to God

Forgiveness scriptures

Ephesians 4:30 – 32

Matthew 18: 21, 34 – 35

II Corinthians 2: 10 -11

Matthew 6:12

Mark 11:25

Luke 17: 3 – 4

Luke 23:34

James 4:32

Acts 10:43

Acts 6:4

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